“When a child loses a parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses their partner, they are called a widow. When parents lose their child, there isn’t a word to describe them.” In 1988, President Reagan proclaimed October as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. This month recognizes the loss so many experience.

A couple of weeks ago the grief counselor at our clinic called to invite us to an event they are holding tomorrow evening for families who have experienced this loss. We’ll make the journey to Reedsburg, decorate a luminary, and release it with many other families who know our heartache all too well. On October 15, our clinic along with may other facilities, organizations and individuals across the globe will launch luminaries, light candles, and give recognition to the 1 in 4 pregnancies ended too soon and the babies who became angels.

We’ll do so just three weeks before our anticipated due date. How I wish things could be different. I continue to remind myself that my plans are not the ones that matter and we’ll experience the joy of another pregnancy one day. We’ll relish in holding a brand new life, God willing.

James will always be an important chapter in our lives. A chapter that brought us closer and reminded us how fragile and precious life truly is. How profoundly blessed we are with Miss Connie and how valuable a life is no matter how much time it was given. We will always wonder who he would have been. We will never forget.

I hope that tomorrow’s event helps provide further closure and peace. This month has been an emotional one as I considered many times how far along we would have been in our pregnancy, how soon we’d be parents to two, the belly I’d be sporting, and the wonderful experience of child-birth and a precious, new life.

Rest in peace, my son.